Sweet Memories- 9/12/2011

9th December 2011. This date is very special to me. One of the most memorable days in my school life. It was the first time ever, my batch students came together to put up a massive musical production. Charlie and the Chocolate factory. The production was based on Roald Dahl's children's book by the same name.

When they first announced that we were going to put up this performance for our annual day, we all laughed and mocked it. We thought it was impossible to imitate such a glorious peace of work on stage. Immature as we were, us students were cynical at first. Whoever knew that this goes on to become a glorious success a few months later.

The Journey to the show was an adventurous one. Numerous practice sessions, people were segregated and divided into different groups according to their interests.  We slowly gained interest because of constant motivation from our music teacher Deepak Lazarus and our English Teacher Usha Kamath Ma'am. They helped us grow, learn new talents and different ways of the art. Right from scriptwriting to developing props and stage mechanics. They managed to organize a complete show with almost 200 students involved.

Personally, this was quite a memorable experience for me. It was the first time I sang for a choir. Even though my knowledge of music was quite good, I learnt more about music and choir singing being part of one. I discovered that I can sing tenor and melody, something which I never thought I would do. Also, the experience of going to the recording studio to pre-record the songs and dialogues for the final day was exciting.

There were numerous times when we all did mistakes, 'juggled' on stage, 'misdirecting' our dialogues, many times when DL(Deepak Lazarus) got furious by our behaviour. But all those things were a learning experience. Working as a team and working together helped us come out of our shells. Thank you to our coolest music teacher DL for being patient with our naive ways and our adolescent behaviour. Thank you for sticking with us right through till the end. Thank you for showing us a whole new world of arts and showbiz. Thank you for bringing in music to our lives, showing us the beautiful world of music. I still remember that quote in his music room which said, "When words fail, music speaks". More importantly, thank you for being that cool friend with whom we could hang out after school.

After four months of hard work, planning and practice, we managed to put up a successful show. More than the show itself, we took a lot into our lives. Friendships were forged, talents were recognized and more importantly, the spirit of teamwork.

In the end, Charlie bucket won a chocolate factory. But Willy Wonka got something even better-a Family, and one thing was absolutely certain. Life had never been sweeter. That's exactly what came out of this show. The whole batch became a family.

Ignorance and awakening

When the whole country was debating whether Aamir Khan wants to leave the country or not, whether the country is intolerant, all this time, a state called Tamil Nadu was being ignored. Yes, our country debates on completely senseless stuff while ignoring the issues at hand. No wonder India was voted as the world's second most ignorant country,
South-East monsoon, what our geography textbooks taught us was just routine rains which occur during the months of November and December and it is also called 'retreating monsoon'. What our geography textbooks didn't mention is the El Nino effect. Well, doesn's significantly impact our subcontinent monsoon but this year, it has had some effect. Ever since the start of November, Chennai, the city of the sun, was enveloped with black rainy clouds. While this is usually welcome in Chennai as it sees little rainfall throughout the year, these rain clouds gave Chennaiites an unforgettable thump.
When the rain clouds burst, it rained continuously for 3 days and 3 nights. The rains filled up lakes and reservoirs and flooded majority of the city. A major part of the city was submerged in water. About 1 million people were stranded with no power, no access to clean and fresh water or food. It was termed as a disaster and it was a serious emergency.
Well, like all Disney movies, this story doesn't have a sad ending. The people of Chennai were incredibly self-sufficient. Rescue and relief work was in full swing. Thousands of volunteers came out, braving the heavy rains to rescue stranded people. The Indian Army and the Navy joined the operations. Fast action was taken and the situation was managed well. Surprisingly, the state government were utterly useless. They didn't do even a bit to help their own people. It was the youth of the city, the volunteers who came out to help. Leaving behind everything, religion,gender, class,status, equipped with hope and belief, they joined their hands together to fight the floods. Unity sprang into action when disaster struck.
Moreover, the sense of humanity prevailed. In the end, humanity won. Not money, not power. It took a disaster for people to realize that. People of Chennai, always known to be friendly and kind to each other proved it here. This also awakened many to more serious issues. Also, we got to know who the real heroes are. The ones which we see on the screen are fake. Real heroes are the ones who give their services to the people. The real heroes are the ones working in the Indian armed forces. No matter what the situation is, they will be there to serve the people. The Indian armed forces, don't get enough respect for what they do for the country, They need to be recognized and awarded.
Lastly, I am proud to say that I have faith in my generation. The youngsters who volunteered had kindness and generosity to help in times of need.

(For those who are wondering about the article about India being the second most ignorant country in the world, here is a link. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/politics/the-top-ten-most-ignorant-countries-unaware-of-their-countries-demographics-a6761541.html)

Press-titution

Yes, the title is trying to be suggestive  and I intend to keep it that way. What brought me to this profanity? Well, it is the India media. Of late, following a few news channels and newspapers, I've noticed a lot of whoring around activity by the media. Not literally of course. The above term suggests that someone who claims to be unbiased but they actually sell their morals/ethics for money. Such is the state of the current Indian media. It has become an expression of media-cre(pun intended) activities.

Just recently, Bollywood actor Aamir Khan was involved in a controversy because of one statement which he uttered. The media misinterpreted his statement and reported differently. This caused a huge uproar among Indians and the social media. 

Another incident where Rahul Gandhi was slated to deliver a speech and discuss matters about youth and the country in a college in Bangalore. The reason he chose this particular college(Mount Carmel College) is because it primarily consists of young women who are majoring in different fields in social studies and economics. This honourable man wanted to discuss about issues faced by women in the country and how the young women can bring about changes. According to insiders, his speech was tailored well to suit an audience of young women and he managed to put across his point eloquently. But the media, who were not allowed during the session disagreed. They have stereotyped this particular man based on his past and have misreported this very interactive session. The media misconstructed his words and shamed him publicly trying to bring about humiliation with headlines and hashtags like '#RahulStumped', 'Rahul's speech backfires'. All they want (the media) is some kind of sizzling news which will keep their channels running and TRPs soaring. Doesn't matter how they achieve it. 

I must add that India is not the only country which faces this issue. Every other country's media does the same thing in one way or another although it may not significantly impact the integrity of the nation, in India, it negatively impacts it. The rise of crimes, intolerance and various political spats are  consequences of media misinterpretation and misinformation. 

This issue has been there for quite some time in the world. Even fiction has portrayed this issue. For example, in the Harry Potter series, the reporter for The Daily Prophet, Rita Skeeter is notoriously known for altering original opinions and misconstruction of people's words. This actually had a major psychological impact on the protagonist, Harry. 

This has been a quite a big problem in our country as the majority of the population rely on media for information. This type of unethical media culture has affected the opinions of people. People's opinion on politics and democracy is now heavily influenced by the media. The media controls what you see and what you don't. The media trains the minds of the innocent to suit to their needs. In this way, the media can abuse this in many unethical ways many of which are currently happening right now. 

There are few independent agencies which fight for pure and ethical journalism. Even though they get suppressed by the giants, they still manage to survive and keep fighting to survive. Think Quibbler in Harry Potter. These reporters are brave in this journalism war and I am positive that they will eventually win. Until then, we have to continue reeling under hypocratic and blasphemous journalism.

This is the murky side of media. The ugly truth we are living with. There will be a change, but the change should be done by the right people. As Darth Vader says and I quote, Do not underestimate the power of the dark side. 

May the force be with those who are fighting. 

PS: Comment below with your thoughts on this issue. Because people's opinions matter whether they are right or wrong.  

PSS: For anyone who is interested, here is the link for the Open letter by one of the student who was present at the interaction session with Rahul gandhi. http://www.thenewsminute.com/article/mount-carmel-students-open-letter-%E2%80%8Erahulstumped-enthusiasts-36340

International Men's Day

A day which has gone unnoticed. A day which is as important as International Women's day. I do not intend to glorify the status of men or boast about the achievements. I just want to raise a few social issues which the "un-fairer" sex endures everyday.

Social issues

Being a guy who has gone through childhood and teenage years, I elaborate on one main issue every boy faces. From trying to figure out their masculine identity to taking up responsibilities. All these are heavily influenced by societal stereotypes. From a very young age, boys are taught not to cry. It was considered weak and society attached this stereotype that men shouldn't cry and keep all their emotions bottled up. This affects the person in the long run. Men who cannot open up start having mental issues and other psychological issues which may aggravate to suicides. When I was in primary school, among our peer group, boys were considered to be less disciplined and mischievous. This general stigma was applied to every boy in the classroom by the teachers. Also, classroom injustices like punishment for boys and wavier of punishment for girls were other discriminations which I faced. Growing up as a teenage boy, being trapped in a limbo between maleness and what is expected of by the society.

Right from the childhood, the male child is considered to be an aggressive species. Yes, it is true that men are aggressive, but that is usually testosterone induced aggressiveness. That doesn't mean males can't be as caring as females. Males are considered to be emotionless beings and are expected to stay that way everywhere in the society. What they don't understand is that men are also humans and humans have emotions too.

In many countries including mine, Men are considered sexual predators. As a consequence of wrong doings of a few mentally unstable people, the country's entire male population are considered to be rapists. Being a young guy in a country like this is quite difficult where every woman looks at you with an impression of you being a sexual predator. This is something many young men go through everyday. Being labelled as a rapist/molester by the society. Young men are now scared to approach girls even to flirt harmlessly only because they are characterized to be a rapist.

Legal issues

Numerous laws are unjust to males. Right from marriage laws,divorce laws and child custody rights. I don't want to elaborate them. But to summarize them, it leads to the male suffering. If there is no equality in this, how will we ever have peace?



Yes, many wars were fought in the past because of males. Many mass destruction weapons were built by men. But we are all humans, and humans make mistakes. Many wars were mistakes and many wars had reasons behind it. Whatever may be the achievements of males in the past, you have to know that there were millions of hard-working and determined men behind it.

Men have withheld the pillars of society, Men have protected, braved and worked to keep up families, countries.

Being a man is not shamelessness. It is something to be proud of. We have our unique traits which gives us a certain identity.


We shouldn't fight for men's rights separately. We need to fight for equality. Equality for everyone, regardless of race, sex, religion and country.  We are after all humans. We need to live in peace and harmony to survive for longer years. Instead of fighting for our differences, we need to accept them. I think it is important that we do not lose hope in this day and age. There are people out there, both men and women who wants to correct this idea of sexism, The concept of equality. We just need to raise awareness of these issues and together, we can fight this injustice. For me, International Men's day is not about the male gender. It is about the ideals of equality and another push to the peaceful world that we all aspire for.

Peace.

Dark Times

Waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of rain pattering the window, I hear voices. Voices screaming in agony, in pain. The howling wind carrying these screams. Some screams were accompanied by sounds of gunshots. I walk outdoors. I feel the raindrops, falling like bullets. Every drop hurting my already aching body. I look around me, vision slightly blurred. All I see is chaos. Chaos everywhere. Masked men wielding guns, shooting at innocent people. The rains cause floods which threaten to wash away everything. People, possessions and dreams. The air smells of mud and hot lead. Blood is sputtered everywhere. The terrifying men then proceed to blow themselves up. The bombs detonate and a large area is destroyed. The survivors run for their lives. The floods consume the survivors. Enveloping everyone and everything in its path.  All this I witness helplessly, without any way to save them. I see people perish, right in front of my eyes. I hold out my hand, try to scream for them. No sound. Only my mind screams. The louder I scream, the voices in my head becomes louder. Then suddenly, silence. Silence everywhere. I look around. Devastation. No one around. Not even one breathing species.

I wake up in the comfort of my home. There was a deafening silence. I contemplate what happened. It was still dark outside. I turn on the news. The news channels were blaring about the terrorist attacks in Paris. Meanwhile, local news channels blared about the floods. The cyclone which consumed the city of Chennai. The City which is always in her toes, came to a standstill. The city which fell to the enormous power of nature. The City may have fallen. But the people never gave up. Thousands of people braved the rains, relocated, helped others to safety. Thousands stranded, thousands of homes water-logged. But the people never gave up. They strived harder to survive. 8000 km away, a city called the city of love, armed men shot at the audience of a rock show. The media labelled it as 'The Bataclan Massacre'. The Politicians started calling war on ISIS. The French sent warplanes to bomb Syrian cities. The U.S followed through.

Why do we want this? Why are humans interested in killing each other? Hasn't France taught them love? Why can't we give peace a chance? Why war?

As John Lennon said, " All we are saying, is give peace a chance."

Peace.

Schadenfreude

        Before you think that I have converted to a pro-nazi activist, let me shoot that thought down(no pun intended) and explain to you what the title means. It is a sadistic pleasure someone derives when something goes wrong for others. I am too lazy to google the etymology of the word but it is clear that it was derived from German. Anyway, this term has come to relevance in my observations of the world around me and I desire to jot down my opinions about it here. Honestly, I didn't know that this word existed before this. I came across this when reading some nerdy comics.  Obviously, I knew the concept but I didn't know the specific term used to describe it. 

        Right from our teens, we have all seen how cruel and selfish the world is. It is a known fact that the moral well-being of the people has gone South. We can't point fingers on anything particular which results in this. A lot of factors have been involved collectively to bring the world to such a state. That will be unnecessary to elaborate here. Schadenfreude-ing(is that even right usage?) is one consequence of the above. For some reason, people find joy in misfortune of others. A simple example is that when someone trips over something and falls, bystanders laugh at the helpless victim. Another example which is also a rampant problem in schools all over the world is bullying. Yes, bullying is also a psychological syndrome where the bully portrays this behaviour.
        Lately, what I've realized is that people around me were schadenfeudeic(wrong usage, I know, but you get the point). It might be shocking to note that my own teachers, classmates and friends have  been behaving in this way. I don't blame the others because some may even do it unconsciously. I was blind not to realize this and I have fallen prey to this phenomena quite a few times. It took some time to understand my problem and now I have figured out how to avoid such situations. You can say I have been awakened(refer previous post). It is a difficult thing to handle when one is a victim of bullying. A lot of emotional strength gets sucked out and the person is left alone in disgrace.
        Ultimately, I just wish that the world will not plummet to a new low. It leads to a lot of other problems and wars. Eventually, there will be chaos everywhere. I wish people will keep their moral foundations strong and help others build their moral foundations.

Reader, please note that this post is not about the psychological implications of schadenfreude. I just wanted to highlight some major moral issues in this society and I used that word as the title because I found it fancy :P

Awakening

However hard you think, the title above refers to nothing in particular (or everything!). The term will always remain an abstract term. Personally, the term signifies multiple things for me. Although I may not be referring to my recent slumber issues and my nocturnal lifestyle, the significance of this word is what motivates me right now. 

Firstly, you can consider this blog post as an awakening. It has been quite a while since I wrote here. Even though I don't want to admit it, others would call it a 'writer's block'. Instead, I would like to look at it as a break to discover personal strengths other than writing. Although there has not been much progress in that "discovery", I realized one thing. Writing is my only outlet. Whatever state of mind I am in, writing helps me clear my mind, dissolve into a world of words where no one can intrude into. Solitude, which I constantly seek lately, can be attained through writing. So I have decided to start writing a personal diary in which I record all my thoughts and my views of the world. I plan to put myself through constant introspection so that I can help myself become a better person. Moreover, reading about your past is a fun pass-time when you're alone :P. That diary will be my awakening. Instead of being constantly clueless, it will open my otherwise thoroughly shut eyes to a more mature and logical understanding of everything that happens around me.

Another thing awakened me recently. I watched this new Science Fiction movie called 'The Martian' directed by Ridley Scott. It was an impressive movie to say the least. Amongst all the CGI and the graphics, the thing that caught my attention was the incredible use of technology and applications of technology in different ways. It is an Engineer's dream. Additionally, the Scientific laws and theories were surprisingly accurate for a Science "fiction" movie. I will stop reviewing the movie and come to the point. This movie was a sort of a personal awakening. After looking at how the characters applied their minds to help one person survive in mars, it is sheer brilliance. An engineer with so much talent and genius use of his knowledge is remarkable. This made me realize as to what I was doing with my life. There are people working hard to invent newer technologies which help us to live comfortably. As an Engineer, I realized it is also my duty to contribute to that in any way possible. Essentially, humans are delicate beings and humans stand no chance against the deadly forces of nature. But, we have built, invented so that we can survive in the face of nature. Everything which is man-made has been imagined first, drafted, theorized, experimented and researched before it came into existence. All these facts awakened me to the fact that I need to contribute to the ever-growing advancement of technology, Instead of wasting my life. It has opened my eyes to my future. I have a clearer picture of my future now and I guess it will motivate me to work towards it. I know it may sound a little too exaggerated but it excites me to think about the future and what it holds.

Of course, all that I said in the previous paragraph can be implemented only after I sort out my own life. Lately, 'my life' as we call it has been in shambles. In addition to extreme laziness and lack of intellectual activity, sleep has been a troublesome prick. All these are my problems right now and I know I can manage them and solve them one by one. I wrote it here for my own reference so that I can look back later to give me confidence. It is all about the mental state of mind. A little optimism is what matters and I guess this post might give me that. 

Ultimately, sleep can solve many of my issues, because sleep gives me an opportunity to be with myself, to connect to my soul and to dream. I consider sleep as an eternal friend. It relaxes the body and connects the mind to another world, a fantasy. Obviously, that friend is not always marshmallows. There can be some instances of negativities, like nightmares. Nevertheless, sleep takes you away from all the worlds problems, the negativities of the world and lets you be at peace for some amount of time. That is what I seek in life. A good night's sleep.

As Dalai Lama rightly said, 'Sleep is the best meditation.'

7 seconds of terror

In 2012, the world witnessed a massive advancement in space exploration. With the ever evolving technologies and smarter machines, the world has not yet reached the peak of its technological advancement. Space exploration is one such field which constantly evolves its technology. The technological marvel began from a place called cape canaveral and ended with a resounding success on Aeolis Palus, a martian crater. So what is it that makes this curiosity's mission a subject to talk about? Just before touchdown to the martian lands, the spacecraft has to enter the martian atmosphere. But the problem is, it enters the planet's atmosphere at tremendous speeds. It has to be decelerated before it hits the ground. The sequence of deceleration, deployment of parachute, hovering and detachment of the rover and finally touchdown. All this happens in a specific time frame of seven minutes. The robots automatically execute these sequence of steps and it is almost confirmed that nothing will go wrong. Yet, if something goes wrong, the mission will end in a failure and it will result in the loss of billions of dollars.  This particular time-frame was termed as 'The 7 minutes of terror'.

Coming back down to earth, I experienced a similar kind of terror, except it was for seven seconds. Ever since my childhood, I had this fear of going underwater. I tried to go for swimming classes but I failed. Every time I go near a pool, I become hydrophobic. The reason of this fear is due to some childhood trauma. Walking around in the pool is alright. The thought of holding my breath underwater and wading through the water knocks the wits out of me. I am not scared of water, I am scared of drowning, scared of being consumed by water. 

Yesterday, I experienced the much labelled '7 seconds of terror'. A bunch of friends wanted to throw me into the pool, I resisted. But they all overpowered me and managed to toss me overboard. When my leg came in contact with water, my heart skipped a beat. My body kept sinking into the water and my limbs couldn't find solid ground. I was flailing, trying to grab something solid but all that came to my help was water. I swallowed a little water when I opened my mouth to scream out for help. Thankfully, my feet found the ground and I was able to stabilize myself. This was my personal 7 seconds of terror.

I am hoping to get over this long-term fear. I want to be able to swim and have fun with the others. Some fears will take time to get over. So I wait patiently for that day to come.

Randomness

This is one post which I meant to write for a long time but kept tossing away due of lack of time, or maybe just laziness. So here I am returning to my new found sanctuary and finally unloading my thoughts onto this desolate blog of mine.

After finishing literally half of engineering, I am just trudging along to finish another half. Not many changes in my life but the massive task of starting the dreaded third year in Engineering where we will be bombarded with core subjects all over. So let me put this in a nerdy perspective.Consider a D to C nozzle flow. Fluid velocity increases as it approaches near the mouth of the nozzle. If you consider the thermodynamics of the flow, entropy increases as the fluid approaches the convergent part. From basic thermodynamics, we all know that as entropy increases, the randomness of the system increases. This randomness can be considered to cause 'chaos'. This is how this period of engineering is like. The first year starts as a normal steady flow. The velocity slowly gains pace in the second year. When third year approaches, the flow consequently approaches the nozzle entry. Third year is like the nozzle. You have very little time but you have to push through a lot. Pressure increases, velocity increases and randomness also increases. This is exactly what I am experiencing right now and I am sure my fellow peers would also agree with me.

All this randomness will go away if we just focus towards the exit. The nozzle exit. Just let the flow carry us because we cannot go against the flow. If we are already in it, we have to stay in it till the end.

Hoping to find that exit soon, till then, my journey through the metaphorical nozzle will be well documented here, added with a lot of emotions and frustrations.

PS: I can somehow relate thermodynamics to life. If you have any more questions, contact me. 

Breaking the Ice or Melting it?

Silence often has the strongest voice - Anonymous

As I finally decide to put my fingers to my keyboard, I made up my mind, to publish a blog post one way or the other. It has been ages since I've written a casual post here. That's what I intend to do now. Every time I sit to write something I have in mind, I get distracted and put away my writing. I am not proud of it but I don't beat myself over it either. I haven't been in a writing mood lately and I feel...illiterate to not have read a proper novel for a long time. So here I am, halfway through the holidays, cherishing the beautiful and unpredictable Yorkshire-style Bangalore weather sitting on my overly-comfy bed (which will be missed when I'm gone), with a book in one hand and my laptop in other. (of course I put down the book to type).

As they say, 'An Idle mind is a Devil's workshop", I heed "their" advise and prevent myself from being idle during the holidays. So, to carry on the aforementioned prevention, I enrolled myself in a small company called Jetwings where I am interning for thirty days. At first, I thought it was going to be a boring 30 days but I am glad I was wrong. This intern-ship came up with a lot of surprises. From Industrial visits to problem-solving in cfd software, it is sheer excitement for someone like me. Not going too much into the technicalities, my 18 days interning here has been a brilliant experience. It had "aerospace" written all over it. (not literally).  I feel like I am in the haven of learning. Assimilating different kinds of knowledge.

Apart from the intern-ship, travelling to and from the venue has been an interesting experience. The daily bus rides through the never-ending traffic of the city, finding alternate bus routes, oversleeping in the bus and missing my stop, meeting interesting people, it has been an exciting experience so far.

So the remaining days of these holidays is what I look forward to. With a mini-project lined up for me and more to learn in the internship, I will be more active in this desolate blog of mine.

Before you think I am boring you with my life, I will conclude by saying that I have lined up some interesting posts following this unnecessary one. But I wanted to write this to break the ice. Apparently, polar bears are not heavy enough to break it.

An Upsetting Epoch

A few days back, I was informed of a very shocking news. A Teacher, an inspirer, a mentor who taught me Mathematics in 11th and 12th grade, well, she left us, permanently. This loss shook me up a bit. She was a great teacher and handled our hormone-induced teenage behaviour very well. She understood what was going on in our minds and she helped us with issues. An elegant lady who always was clad in traditional saree, she was a perfect mix of tradition and modernity. She stressed on values both mathematical and moral. She took pains to make us think logically. She inspired us to make us think, rather than just follow prescribed methods.

The news of her death disturbed me. At such a young age, she wasn't allowed to live. To grow and inspire generations of students. A major loss to education. My deepest sympathy to her family, she is survived by her husband and her daughter. She was probably a good mother and a wife. All I can say is, a beautiful light has faded, a light which enlightened hundreds of students and many other people.

She was a strong woman and taught never to lose hope. So the least we can do is make her proud. Wherever she is, if she is watching over us, we will make sure not to let her down. We have to live with it, just hoping that she has reached a better place. But we will miss her. Her smile lingers, her voice still rings in our ears, her name will never be forgotten.

May her soul rest in peace.

The inconsistent insomniac

Let me be honest with you. About the title, I looked through a thesaurus to find out synonyms which go well with the word 'insomniac' but I chose the one above because of the alliteration. The title may not make sense now but if you read on, you will know why I chose this particular title with a happy coincidence of an alliteration.

I have this disease, a disorder or whatever psychological term you can call it. Lately, it has been more evident to me. For a long time, I knew something was up with me. It is just recently I have discovered this. It is who I am and the choices I make. Maybe it involves genes too. It may be socially unacceptable but I guess I have to eventually come out of the closet. That is the hardest thing you know. The society is not so open minded and I fear that they will not accept me. Coming out, accepting oneself and hoping the society will accept me for who I am is the hardest thing to achieve. So I feel it is better to do it now rather than later. If I come out in my blog post, then I guess it will not explode out of control so much so that I wouldn't regret coming out. So I decided to do it here. It has been a difficult few years until i realized that it was no use to keep bottling it up. So here it is. I have decided to come out.  I am not human. I am an owl.(what else did you think, reader?). I am insomniac.

For a long time, I knew that I was nocturnal. I just discovered myself lately and found out that I cannot sleep like any other normal human being. Staying awake is part of my lifestyle now. Blame it on the stressful engineering life or the evolved owl life. I feel it is unnatural. So I am working on becoming more human. Owl life gets boring you know.

I would be cheating if I told you that I am a complete insomniac. Ignore the above sentences and read the following ones. I am a human after all and I need sleep. Humans spend about 1/3rd of their lives sleeping and it is impossible for any normal human being to survive without sleep continuously. So I manage to get some amount of sleep everyday. But it has been inconsistent. My sleep cycles are terribly imbalanced and that is affecting my lifestyle. I am trying to bring back some balance into it but it will take time. Meanwhile, another sleepless Saturday night going into Sunday morning, I made use of my time effectively by studying for an important aerodynamics exam on Monday. I decided to write this because my brain fell asleep after studying for 3 hours continuously. I needed a break from this madness and I find solitude in my blog. I find solitude in my laptop and writing something brings me peace. Also, this period of time from 2.00 am to 6.00 am is my favourite time to do productive things because of the eternal silence and zero distractions. I imagine myself the king of the world while the other "mediocre" human beings sleep, I conquer the world in my mind. I have the freedom to do my work continuously and I love the solitude around me.

You may think I am retarded for writing this post. However condescending your thoughts are I urge you to write them down below in the comments. I would like to know the intensity of my madness through another's perspective. I will take your leave now to satisfy the basic human need to eat and I will try to avail some part of that lifetime card which wastes 1/3rd of my life. I curse the person who invented this concept of human needs.  

The Beauty of imperfection

In an age where robots look more like humans, the biggest question arises, how can we differentiate between a human and a robot? This results in even more terrifying questions, like "robots taking over humans", "robots having their own mind" and other ideas from clichéd science fiction movies. The first and the most obvious response to the above question would be the Turing test. But the test is proven to have loopholes and our beloved robots nowadays are smart enough to find them. There is one thing human beings can't achieve. Perfection. A machine/robot can be perfect because it has only two logic states- True and False. Humans don't have a definite logic state. It can vary anywhere between 'True' and 'False' but neither of the two.

Imperfection of human beings is a thing of beauty. It is those little imperfections that defines a person, combined with unique characters and traits, imperfections leads to a perfect combination of personality. Imperfections also exist in our universe. Many scientific theories and experiments are based on imperfections. There are laws which explain those imperfections and defects. Humans are not new to perfection. The planet they are born in, the earth is in the perfect astronomical position to support life. In scientific experiments, what we call as "human error" is due to imperfect conduction of the experiment by the human being.

There is only one thing that is perfect in this world. Nature and all its forms are perfect. The plants and animals co-exist in perfect symbiosis. The perfection of nature is the reason why we admire it often. It is like Newton's first law of motion, If a system is at rest or motion will remain at rest or motion if there is no external force acting on it. The same thing is applicable here. Nature has been existing in perfect harmony till humans came along. Humans, being the brutal external force here started messing up this inertia called perfect harmony with their own imperfections.

Humans achieving perfection is impossible, If it happens, then there will be no concept of god. Hypothetically, imagine this scenario where humans finally achieve ultimate perfection. Life will become boring and monotonous. Everyone will start doing the same stuff and there will be no variety. Basically, human civilisation will die and humans will transform into robots. It will be like the Dalek invasion(Yes,Doctor Who reference). So ideally, perfection cannot be achieved by humans.

Certain people in my life strive to achieve perfection and I totally respect them for this. It is great to have some fixed goals in life and achieving perfection as one of them is appreciable. If they strive hard, they will come close to perfection. It is like an asymptote in mathematics. They tend to become perfect but never actually achieve perfection. I am not discouraging those people, but I dedicated this part of my article to those people who strive hard to achieve perfection. I keep them in high regard and have immense respect for trying to do this. Keep continuing to do so and also inspire others to follow you in the path of perfection.

With this, I'm signing off to lead my 'imperfect' human life. Since I am a human, I am sure there will be some flaws and mistakes in my post. Please comment below with your thoughts and also point out any imperfections in my writing so that you can also prove that I am not a robot :P.

PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS

HA! Gotcha! Now that you're reading this, I know that you are human. There is something amusing about basic human nature. Humans are characterized by making mistakes, making emotional decisions and going against other humans. So let's talk about you.Yes YOU, my dear reader! Pay attention.

 Now that you have come here, you have been labelled as an 'anarchist'(not to be confused with 'Antichrist'). I didn't label you as such, but society did so. Anarchy is a term which the dictionary defines as a state of disorder due to absence of a ruler/government. I don't believe in the dictionary, there is more to anarchy than that. Anarchy is not going by the rule book as I have "unintentionally" demonstrated it in my previous lines by not following dictionary meaning. Consequently, if you are an anarchist, you will not listen to me.

I am an anarchist myself. I am independent and go against what the society tends to do. I have my own ideals and principles which cannot be changed by others. Anyone who challenges the latter will be gone against. They will always have someone going against them because going 'for' them is too mainstream. Although it may seem a little too paradoxical if one anarchist goes against his/her own ideals. Well, that is too confusing for me to think so just skip to the next paragraph because it will divert your mind from the above paradox.

So here is the change in subject as promised. It is established that anarchy is basic human nature. So it can be used to differentiate between humans and machines since nowadays, humans and machines blend together so well that even humans start behaving like machines. Anyway, I have done a few anarchist things myself. Some of the events have shattered the very foundations of authority. Of course I will not tell you about it because I won't (want?)let out any job description of my secret job.

Screw it. I will narrate one incident because I don't have any more ideas to continue this post and I want to make it 'look' "big". Rewind to twelfth grade where we were supposed to give our farewell assembly and perform in front of the whole school. We prepared a parody play of different teachers and also a parody about all the stuff we did in school. Our Umbridge-like principal didn't approve of it. She felt it was uninspiring but her intention was to enforce her newly-found power and kill free speech by censorship. In the following two hours, she edited our script and made it boring. She instructed us to perform the edited script and threatened us with consequences if we didn't. As expected my anarchist batch-mates performed the original script along with lots of impromptu improvisations and the audience were splits(not to be taken literally). The teachers loved it, students laughed about it and we were suddenly the most popular batch in history of our school. Our very own "High inquisitor" madam Umbridge was helpless and just let it go. We regarded it as a victory.

The above is one of the many events in my life when my anarchist side came to the fore. I am not an activist, I am a freelancer. Whenever it is required, I can become an anarchist. I am like a virus, always dormant until it finds a suitable host. After the host graciously invites the virus, it clings to them and destroys them from the inside. Here, I can be compared to the virus and the host can be any form of authority which is not doing a good job.

I don't know how to conclude this post so I will just leave it without doing it. Just to test you how much of an anarchist you are, I request you NOT to comment below. 

27 hours a day

A warning to my readers: This post was written when I was going through some issues and my mind was turbulent. The post is induced with a lot of emotions and my personal life. I'd advice you not to go further if you're not used to read these types of posts. Also, I have to warn you that this post is unusually long and it might bore you to death. I do not want to be the cause of your death. Peace.

I want to travel through time. I wish I could control the time dimension. Using a remote control at my own will, accelerating, decelerating, fast-forward, rewind and pause.(not a full stop, just a pause.) I fantasize about travelling through the fourth dimension, both future and past and all things present. This is one concept you will only see in Science fiction because our scientific research and technological "advancements" are too primitive. But of course, one can fantasize about such things happening in real life when the reality becomes boring.

The number twenty-four is significant in anyone's life. People weren't creative enough to give names to the period of rotation of earth so they named it twenty-four hours. One thing that infuriates me is that this one full rotation of Earth is not enough for me to live my life. How I wish the earth rotated slower? At least three hours slower. Twenty Seven hours a day sounds good. I just can't imagine all the extra work we can do if it actually existed.

Lately, I have had terrible days with an overload of work which requires more than twenty-four hours of my time. Balancing has become much more difficult than unstable equilibrium. I am not new to multi-tasking, I've done it before and I know I can do it again, more efficiently. But the magnitude of jobs and tasks have been humongous. I have come to a point where I need to put my efforts in various tasks but output comes to be substandard. As they say, I have all work but no play. Even though I'm not Jack or a dull boy, I feel frustrated when things don't go my way. This affects my sleeping and eating habits.

I was going insane to be working like a machine. A machine with infinite links and colossally complicated mechanism.(Yes, this is what too much studying has done to me. I am not a nerd). I was lost in the deepest pit of insanity with no sense of direction. I had no idea that I was slowly killing myself mentally. My appearance was compared to a zombie due to lack of sleep and irregular eating habits.

And then there was light. Two of my best friends screamed at me down that pit till I could listen to them. They showed me the light, showed me the way to climb out of that pit. showed me how I unknowingly got into the pit. How I dug that pit deeper and finally, how I can dust myself and get up.

Sitting in my lab and introspecting(instead of working) , I realized how I was driving myself the wrong way. Among all the negativities surrounding me, I am glad that I have these trusted friends who pulled me up, Friends who were concerned about me when I ignored myself, they gave me moral support. This friendship is one of the few I value a lot.  In certain situations, my rational mind goes on a vacation but crazy as they may be, these friends helped me rationalize my thoughts. Looking from mathematics perspective, I was looking for the value of 'pi' but they gave me 22/7.

When I am upset or down in the dumps, there are few things which can cheer me up. Music is always the best remedy as music has the eternal powers to change a person. I have more to talk about music but I will save it for another post. I find solitude in the virtual world in form of games and movies. Nowadays, after a long, hard day of college, I look forward to the time I have in lab because I learn a lot while working. Also, my team-mates are like a family to me and we have fun together even while working. After all that I've gone through in the day, I'd  like to write down what I've been going through. Writing clears my mind and helps me think straight again. This blog post is the result of the above.(might be a recursive statement. That was purely unintentional).  Also, trivial and nonsensical chats with friends reassures me that the world is not cruel after all.

Lastly, my bed, my laptop and the calmness of my room cheers me up and soothes me. Talking about bed, I remember that I have to get enough sleep if I need to work on climbing that pit. So time to sleep before the long climb.

Grammatik Nazi

I know I am obsessed with German words in title lately.(If you didn't get what I mean, refer to my previous post). Maybe because I have a German exam on Monday and I have no idea of the syllabus. Coming back to context, this post's header also happens to be a title given to me on many instances. I usually take it as a compliment even though the word 'Nazi' is involved. As you may have already figured out, German for grammar is 'Grammatik'.

Yes, I am a Grammar Nazi. I follow the propaganda of correct way to use the English language. I consider bad Grammar a textual harassment. I incorporate phrasism and tensism in my ideology. I am opposed to slang and uncivilised grammar. I fight for right usage of prepositions. I struggle for freedom of punctuation. My Führer is language. It can be any language which contains grammar.

So there are some intellectually challenged people in this world who know the language well but still fail to use the correct grammar in language. These people have to be sent to concentration camps. People on the internet who are from the English speaking countries make the most mistakes. Some commonly confused words are 'your' and 'you're', 'there' and 'their', 'who's' and 'whose'. I am surprised that people who are non-native speakers use perfect English with no grammatical flaws. I was trying to find out the reason behind this occurrence and one of my theories is that native English speakers have learnt the language while growing up. They learnt it by listening to others talking and oral interaction. Non-native speakers learnt the language by writing and reading. So the latter is more strong in grammar than the former.

I feel it is important to follow grammar whenever we learn a language or use language to communicate in writing or oral. Grammar dictates a set of rules to be followed while using a language and if it were not for grammar, language would be chaotic and people couldn't have comprehended anything from a string of words. Grammar gives the language its identity. Grammar sets the location and time. Grammar is everything for a language.

As an advocate of grammar, I urge my readers to practice proper language etiquettes. The world would be a better place.

Heil Grammar!

vergessen

Don't be confounded after reading the title. This is an English-only blog and the for the sake of creativity, the title is in German.

I recently learnt a verb in German class which I will never forget. 'vergessen'. It means 'forgotten' in german. Apart from the irony demonstrated above, this word has clung to me because it used to be my recently compromised facebook password. Just a few days back, a friend happened to get his hands on my laptop and somehow, he could reveal my already saved password in my facebook account. He laughed at the fact that my password was so easy. I retorted saying that no one could've figured it out, Also, another added advantage is that if I ever chance upon schizophrenia(thank god for spell-checker, else I would never have gotten that spelling right),  amnesia or other forgetting diseases which cannot be recollected right now, the 'forgotten password' prompt would help me by displaying my password right on the screen. But apparently, I should be a little more creative in remembering passwords.

I quickly changed my password to something which cannot be revealed. (Don't even try to ask). Being careless with my passwords has not cost me anything but may cost me in the future. So with lots of experience(2 passwords old), I volunteer to teach anyone willing to learn how to set an unbreakable password. It is foolproof(unless you are the fool), sophisticated yet easy to remember.I don't want to be cryptic about it but you don't need to study cryptology to make unbreakable passwords. It is simpler than you think. Password selection need not be logical. You just need to be creative.

Speaking of creativity, you won't find any of it here in this post. The title starts in German followed by lot of gibberish and the conclusion which is yet to be written. Pathetic as it may be, I have critiqued my own post in the end. After such a post, I expect my readers to slam me in the comments section with negative reactions. I am okay with it and ready to take it all. You can start below.

PS: Don't mind me. I'm just thinking out loud.

Intellectually challenged

Two days back, when I was browsing the interwebs, I came across this particular article in a news website. The article was about the statement given by the Nirbhaya rapist. For those who have been living under a rock, Nirbhaya is a figurative name given to a woman who was the victim of a brutal gang-rape in Delhi a few years back. The boorish rapist made a statement recently which proved that some people are stupid and they don't deserve to live. He claimed that he raped the woman because she was asking for it. He blamed her for staying out in the night. After reading these disgusting claims, I was troubled to find out that after many years in prison, he has not changed his mentality. He certainly needs some psychological help if not someone to counsel him with what is right and wrong. He is not the only stupid person in the country, there are thousands of utterly disgusting men in this country who have lost control of themselves.

Recently, an instance of stupidity, the Indian government has banned a new BBC documentary called "India's daughter" fearing a global defamation conspiracy. It is a documentary about this nirbhaya incident which shows what exactly happened on 16th december 2012 and there is a revelation of the victim's name. The government is concealing the truth by banning a doumentary which is supposed to communicate to people as to what happened and how to prevent it.

Another incident which made me lose my faith in humanity is that a certain person who claimed himself as the "messenger of god" had four hundred followers who cut their testicles because he claims that it is the only way to get closer to god. This is utterly disturbing because how can people be so foolish to go to that extent? Is it ignorance or stupidity? Sometimes, both words come hand in hand and they relate to each other.

This world is filled with stupid people. In a more professional way, I can name them 'Intellectually challenged'. They have lost their direction in life and lost control of themselves. People slitting wrists over love, hanging themselves over something trivial and unnecessary fights. These are some stupid things done by intellectually challenged. This category of people drag the society down. People working for the greater good of humanity are hindered.

For my readers, this post is a reflection of my thoughts, some things which have been disturbing my mind lately. I would be glad if you write your thoughts about these issues below because another perspective is always helpful.

The Mask

"A smile is the best way to deal with difficult situations. Even if it is a fake one. When used properly, you can fool anyone with it." - Translated from Sai's words in Naruto Shippuden series.

If you came here expecting to read something about the movie 'The Mask', you are in the wrong place. I am the last person to write about a certain comedian with witless humour and a stupid smile plastered on his face. The quote above will give you a clear idea as to what this particular post is about. When a particular character of not much importance to the show uttered those words, it got me thinking. I came to a realization that this is where humanity stands. Fake a smile. Fake your emotions. Fake your education. Fake everything! This is the direction humanity is heading to. A fake destiny. A destination which is fake and promises nothing but fake happiness.

Society forces you to wear a mask, hide your character and act according to what society demands. There are unwritten rules and unspoken guidelines which has to be followed strictly, failing to do so will attract undesirable situations and making the environment uncomfortable to live in. The present society is like invisible claws clamping you down preventing you from rising up. As mechanical engineers may understand, you are constrained in all directions and have zero degrees of freedom. The only way to live a life, or rather, survive is to wear a mask. Cover up your feelings and portray something different. You may feel sad and depressed on the inside but never show it to the world. Paint a 'fake' smile on your face and go on with life. Act as if nothing is happening and your mind is always free of thoughts and filled with happiness always. After all what has happened, just act...always. This is what society dictates to us and we are forced to follow.

I believe that it is up to an individual to perceive the way society treats them. It is up to the same individual to decide what to follow and what not to follow. That individual can change the way society lives. One individual can change a whole race's mentality. There are people in this world who are trying to work for the betterment of the society and the human race. I just wish there were more people doing that.

So to temporarily get away from this real(duplicate) world, I am encapsulating myself in a virtual world where you relearn what humanity has forgotten, love, friendship, bonding and kindness. Even though the virtual world is only a fantasy and is often associated to momentary happiness, it actually gives some hope in this changing world. It gives a certain hope that humans are intelligent enough to understand this maybe not immediately, but sometime in the future. So change always happens and we just have to work towards a better change.

PS: Contrary to my previous posts, there is a lot of negativity in this post. I blame my turbulent mind for the above post because this thought has been disturbing me for quite sometime. If you cannot take in so much negativity, please try to give some positive feedback to balance it :P. Just joking. Give any type of feedback. If I have succeeded in awakening you to some of the highly philosophical questions in life, don't blame me if you go mad and lose your mind. I take no responsibility for any consequences.