An AD Carry's lament

I am a gamer and I play this particular MOBA(Multiplayer Online Battle Arena) called League of Legends. I made the following poem from my experiences in the fields of justice on the rift(sometimes in the abyss). The game is played as a team and each person on the team volunteers for a specific role. This game is one beautiful example of what an individual can do and how each individual's strength put together make up a team. Teamwork is the most important aspect in this game. A team is like strings of a guitar. When you pluck a couple of strings in a particular pattern, it resonates to produce a chord. More of this produces music. But when you pluck the strings in wrong patterns, it just produces noise. Teammates perform well when they understand each other's strengths and weaknesses. This game requires a lot of strategy and communication between the players. As the summoners term it, Teamwork OP!

The following poem is too technical and only summoners and rioters can understand. Don't blame me if you find this stupid.

An AD carry's lament

Early game when playing as vayne

I get bullied and dominated in lane,

I need someone to share my pain

Help me with your heals, shields and stuns

Just to hear the words,"An enemy has been slain".

You buy wards and trinkets;

even if it costs the last of your gold,

You go around warding the river

face-checking bushes and drake,

Just to make sure I farm safely.

When their jungler ganks, you protect me

making sure I receive the least damage

you spam stuns,slows,snares to disable them,

you would even die for me

Just to see me stay alive.

In battle, you always stand in front of me,

wielding an impenetrable shield,

You may throw a lantern, make a whirlwind,bind them,

stun them with your bear or taunt a zed

Just to make me get fed.

Late game approaches and winning is no longer a dream

I am now able to carry you and the team,

You have done well to peel for me.

5K gold and I'm sitting Pretty,

Let's have one last push for a Victory!

(This Poem is dedicated to all support players in League of Legends(and dota2 too!) without whom the carry cannot exist.) 

Of Ice cubes and Buckets

First of all, let me break the ice by stating that I thought long and hard for a good title. I even googled for 'Ice puns' but I couldn't get anything title-worthy. Some titles what I thought of gave me the chills.

  Lately, I have been spending abnormal amounts of time on a website which lowers your IQ. As I was going through this site called Facebook(yes, literally lowers your IQ), my 'Timeline' was filled with videos of people dumping buckets of ice over their head. My first thought was that this year's summer has been really hot and people have discovered a new(and stupid) technique to keep themselves cool. After further analysis, I realized that they are doing it for a cause and I ceased making fun of them.

ALS Ice bucket challenge, as they call it, is becoming rapidly popular across the interwebs. A serious neurological syndrome is affecting thousands of people everyday. ALS, which has some long biological expansion which I can't remember with 'S' standing for sclerosis. This syndrome basically affects the motor neurons in the body which leads to paralysis. There is this organization which is dedicated to ALS research and curing. The ALS ice bucket challenge is a medium through which people can be aware of this condition and if possible donate towards its research.

The basic idea of the ALS Ice bucket challenge is that you have to expel a bucketful of ice and water over your own body. The only condition is that the temperature of water/ice should be less than 0 degrees Celsius. It doesn't matter if you tilt the bucket, invert it over your head, use two hands,one hand, use legs, use fire engines, use helicopters,drones. It has all been done. I have been watching videos of creative people having ice-cold showers in front of the camera. The rule of this challenge is that you have to nominate 3 other people to take up this challenge and they have to do it within 24 hours. The person who accepts the challenge donates $10 for charity but the person who refuses the challenge or is unable to do it has to donate $100 to the same. If I ever get challenged by someone, I would accept the challenge and still donate $100. For such a serious condition which is affecting people, I wouldn't mind donating an extra $100 dollar. Anyway, I would still go ahead with the challenge because it is fun to make a video about it and it cools me down in this ridiculously hot Indian weather.

The only down-side to this otherwise fun challenge is that people focus more on the challenge than the cause of it. (The other down-side is the state of the bucket after I complete my challenge). There are viral videos of hollywood stars, NBA stars, football players getting wet on camera. But how much are people actually paying attention to all the neurologically affected people in the world. A charity for a cause can be done without these silly games but this ice bucket challenge, no matter how silly it is, creates awareness. It is a creative way to inform people about the neurological disease and that it is a serious syndrome.


(PS: You may find it chilling but all puns written above were intended.)

Desi-style English

I was going to write this next week but I decided to prepone it. Yes, you might have guessed it by now, this post is about the uniquely amusing Indian way of speaking English.The title says 'Desi English' where 'desi' means 'of the country'. As always, my fascination for the English language has brought me closer to home.I have started noticing the way people speak English(or Hinglish). In this country, about 35 Crore people(350 Million) speak English as a language of communication. But, the language is not according to what everyone speaks around the world. The British have ruled here for over 400 years, yet our English is still different from the British.

This Indianization or "Chutneyfication" of the Indian language is due to various factors like local language, economic conditions of the place and geographical features. English is spoken in different ways, different accents across India. This is attributed to the influence of local tongue. The accents, you can describe it as 'exotic' or 'elegant'.

Modern day conversations are full of Indianness in the English language. Because we are like this only. It is amazing how one adverb can be placed anywhere in the sentence. For example, "I only told him to go", "Only I told him to go" or "I told him to go only". I still can't understand how the phrase ,"You only live once"(YOLO) entered the English language because that is a wrong placement of an adverb. Adverbs usually come as a supporting adjective to verbs.

Coming back to conversations, an encounter between two strangers start with and introduction which goes like this,

"What is your good name sir?"

"Myself xyz, what is your name,Ji?"

"My name is abc. How was your lunch?"

"It was first-class."

There are many funny phrases used in the language which means differently in Hinglish and the traditional English. It may make perfect sense to Indians but foreigners can have a good laugh about it. A student who completed 12th grade and just entered college is described as 12th pass-out. An Indian may have cousin brothers and cousin sisters living in foreign and he plans a trip to foreign during the summer holidays. When someone makes a mistake on a typewriter, they cannot revert back the changes because 'Revert' and 'back' mean the same. People keep asking me whether I am convent-educated because I speak English very well. If I am writing a leave-letter to my boss, I would conclude by requesting him to do the needful. Whenever there is a change in schedule, timing or venue of a predetermined event or a program, the hosts will intimate the cordially invited guests in advance. Have you ever been so busy that you have airdashed? It means to go somewhere in a hurry. Did you know that Bollywood releases about 100 cinemas a year? If that is the case, Bollywood should be owning more than 10000 cinema theaters across the country. Where do they get space to build that many? Cinemas are Indian for movies. Some movies stop running in theaters if there is no demand.

I write these kinds of posts just for time-pass. I add masala to my words to make it spicy. Sometimes, when it goes as dry as curry, I add some humour into it. It makes people laugh so much so that they complain that their stomach is paining. Labouring throughout the day trying to get home in the traffic causes much headache. They come home and complain that their head is paining. Fortunately, their near and dear ones will be waiting for them at home. 

I hope I am cent percent right on the way I have portrayed the Indian way of speaking the language. Now, my sleep is coming so I need to go to bed. If you want to know more about this, you can give me a ring. No, I don't mean a wedding ring. It means that you can contact me.

Thank you, reader for labouring through this highly exaggerated post and reaching to this stage. Convey my regards to your near and dear ones. That includes your neighbours because they live near to you right?(unless you are living isolated). Now before I unite with my bed, I want to point out that I have heavily used Italics in a purely  100 percent Desi post. I am proud to be an Indian and I am proud to have our very own Desi Language. 

No Backspace!

My Backspaace key is brken. I am writinh this pos t without using backspace key or delete key. Actually,I lied, it is not broken, i ma just trying to experiment something. This post has no particular topic. It just reflectss the inner reaches of my chaotic mind. I am writing whatecer comes to my mind and I am not correcting my mistakes. No editing , no rephrasing,just the original.

So just like I never go back on my words, I will not (Literally) go back on my words in this post. I call it a "Literary Experrimrnt" . Sometimes, It is fun to see the unintentional speelling and grammatical erors a person can make while writinh. Aftger all, we are humans and we are not perfect. We all have flaws and we should not be asheamed of it. In fact, our flaws should be flaunted. I am usually (sometimes) proud of my fllaws.

This paragraph was started 24 hours after I wrote the first two paras. The reasone is I got distracted while writing and I just put it waway. Now to continue my stupidity, I start with a completely irrelevant subject as compared to the first two Paragraphs(The no Backspacce rule still hold s here.). Due to unavailibility of topics to write here(and in my mind), I will write about the term 'writers block'(I am experienceing it right now). As you have noticed, I havent written any blog post for quite some time. one Reason is that I didnt find time to unblock this writer's block(am i using it right?) from my mind. The term basically means stifling a writer's creativity/. That and desperation drove me to write this kind of post. Also, my nobackspace rule was insoperied from one of the subreddits of reddit called /r/nobackspace.   Also, there is one more reason as to why I wrote this post. I will explain this in the next paragraph because I have unintentionally started the sentence in the same old para which is not consisitent with litereary structures and I am not allowed to use backspace.

Now that I have come to the next para, let me start by saying that the world is full of fake stuff. Fake people, fake food,fake flowers, fake everywhere. There is a fake foor everything . For example, there are fake cversions of samsung and apple phones in China. Other word popularly used by Indians is duplicate. Faking has beome an integral part of people's behavious. People are more concernecd about how they look,their external appearances. Covering up is one method of gfaking. By covering up, I don't mean the Burqa although that also applies here. People covetr up their flaws, their mistakes. People cover up things that they dont kmow of. Many companies and organizations spend monet to cover up their secrets and lies. Governmaents cover up scams and illegal practices. People spend a lot of time trying to cover up flaws in their external appearances as well as internal. Why should they be ashamed of this? After all, we are humans and flaws should be accepted. If a person has a lisp, why shoud he avoid talking at all? If a person lost his leg,what stops him from playing sports? If a writer makes mistakes,why should he be critized unnecessarily?

Sometimes, life does not need editing. We can take life as it comes. We should not fear for the future. Failing is just a part of life. Misstakes do happen but as we make mistakes, we become wiser(as I have demonstrated in this very sentence). Next time, we will not make the same mistakkes. Maybe, we may make a different one. After all, the number of mistakes one can make is finite(or limited in layman's terms).

Now I dont know how to conclude this post so I will just take your leave with this incomplete sentence. The only purpose of